we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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