im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Never let your siblings swipe right.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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