i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Congratulations! We have a period
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
