I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
