We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
