i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
