What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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