There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
