So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
