So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
