I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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