I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
