i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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