Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
