Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
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