dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
