shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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