? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
