let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
