he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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