She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
