I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
