That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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