I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
