? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
