I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
