What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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