I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Randomize
