So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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