just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
