I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
