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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.

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• (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.

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• (302): View more from Delaware

  Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.

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• (718): View more from New York

  Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!

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• (563): View more from Iowa

  Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.

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• (360): View more from Washington

  You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  Can you repeat that, but with context?

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair

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• (315): View more from New York

  I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.

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• (208): View more from Idaho

  I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO

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