Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
