hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
