doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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