just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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