i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I am one with the molecules
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
