is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Send help, water and tortillas.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
