you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
