Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.

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(530): View more from California

I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.

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(407): View more from Florida

she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store

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(651): View more from Minnesota

just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.

(1-651): View more from Minnesota

called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.

Fav 18 6527 1956
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(419): View more from Ohio

We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.

Fav 11 2579 1991
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(207): View more from Maine

He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.

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(410): View more from Maryland

the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.

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(720): View more from Colorado

you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.

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