We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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