so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
