Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
he laminated a picture of his dick.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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