I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
