you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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