last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
