I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
