it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
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