How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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