it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
